Can’t Isn’t a Failure

There’s this voice that shows up sometimes. Maybe you’ve heard it too. It’s like that telemarketer phone call as you sit down for supper (yes, I’m aging myself).

It usually arrives when the to-do list stays untouched, or when the energy just isn’t there. When the plans were good and hopeful and maybe even holy, but you couldn’t follow through.
You didn’t show up.
You dropped the ball.
You said no (or wanted to), and it didn’t sit well with someone.

And that voice says:
“You failed; again.”
“You lazy son of a *it*h.”
“You’re not enough.”

But what if that voice isn’t telling the truth?

What if can’t isn’t a failure…
but a limit?
a boundary?
a whisper from the Spirit trying to remind you that you’re human and not the Divine One?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, how easy it is to confuse capacity with character.
As if saying “I can’t” means we’ve given up.
As if resting is quitting.
As if “no” is wrong.
As if every opportunity must be taken, every request must be met, every plate kept spinning.

But what if can’t is actually holy? What if it’s the moment we recognize our finiteness,
and let that limitation lead us toward grace, not guilt?

Jesus, the One some of us follow, He said “no” sometimes.
He walked away from crowds.
He napped in boats.
He didn’t heal everyone, fix everything, or meet every need.

If the Incarnate One had boundaries, why are we so allergic to ours?

Sometimes “I can’t” sounds like,
“I can’t be everything to everyone.”
“I can’t carry this alone.”
“I can’t pretend I’m okay right now.”
“I can’t keep moving at this pace.”

And none of that is failure.
That’s just being honest.
That’s just being human.

What would change if we stopped treating our limits as enemies and started listening to them as guides?

I wonder how much more gentle we’d be with ourselves, and each other, if we allowed can’t to be part of the sacred vocabulary of faith.

Not every door has to be walked through.
Not every season is for striving.
Sometimes the most faithful thing you can say is:

“I can’t. Not now.”
And let that be enough.

Because maybe can’t is what makes space for someone else to step in.
Maybe can’t invites us to refocus.
Maybe can’t is a doorway to healing.

For those who have days when you can’t…

May you know that your worth is not tied to your output.
May your ‘no’ be met with kindness.
May your body be listened to.
May your soul breathe deep.
And may you discover, even in your limits,
that you are still held.
Still loved.
Still enough.

Photo by Behnam Mohsenzadeh on Unsplash